Complicated
by Reana
Summary: A NK songfic to Caroline Dawn Johnson's song Complicated.


I'm not really K/N, having been frustrated in life too many times because no one believes girls and guys can be "just friends". I know it's true-- I have many guy friends I'd never even _consider_ dating. Guy/girl friendships are awesome and I like Kel and Neal's. However...I kept listening to this and thinking of Neal and Kel, as well as Ket and Nita ( from Young Wizards), but decided to write it for Neal and Kel, and did something about it. Reviews please! 

Disclaimer: I own no one. *sigh* Neal, Cleon, and Kel are Tamora Pierce's and the song is Caroline Dawn Johnson's. 

~*~ 

_I'm so scared that the way that I feel___

_is written all over my face._

Kel tried to keep her face Yamani-smooth, but with no avail. She nearly melted everytime Neal smiled at her, lighting up his face, his beuatiful green eyes. His brown hair, slightly in need of a cut, was always slightly tousled, though there was something sexy in the carefree way he looked... 

_When you walk into a room, I wanna find a hinding place._

Neal was walking towards her! Did she look okay? Was her hair at least half-way managed? Her clothes didn't reveal her overly-muscular body to much, did they? Oh, she should just dogde out and pretend she hadn't noticed him comign towards her. She was almost to the door when-- 

_We used to laugh, we used to hug,___

_the way that old friends do.___

_But now a smile and the touch of your hand,___

_just makes me come unglued,_

Neal swept her into an embrace. 

"Kel! A knight offered to take me on as a squire!" 

"That's great!" Kel managed to say, despretely hoping that he didn't notice her racing heartbeat, or her face flush. She stumbled, and Neal steadied her. Little did he know that his arm around her would cause her to fall more than stumbling would...__

_It's such a condiction,___

_Do I lie or tell the truth?___

_Is it fact or fiction?___

_Oh this way I feel for you.._

In a way, Kel longed for those early page years when Neal was just a friend. When she wasn't thrown on a rollar coster of emotions every time he glanced her way.__

_It's so complicated... I'm so frustrated___

_I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,___

_I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.___

_Should I say it?___

_Should I tell you how I feel?___

_Oh, I want you to know,___

_But then again, I don't. It's so complicated._

Tonight. Tonight Kel would tell Neal how she felt. He was leaving in three days. If he didn't care for her, then she's know she'd never have a chance with him. If she didn't, she wouldn't have a chance with him anyway! 

But what if Neal didn't even want to be friends with her if he found out she like him in that way? Was a chance at a love that my not even be there worth their four years of friendship?__

_She wouldn't tell him. She'd just live with her hormones and keep Neal as a friend.___

_Just when I think, I'm under control,___

_I think I finally gotta grip___

_Another friend tells me that___

_My name is always on your lips_

Oh!! Kel was in torment. Fianlly, she managed to control her emotions enough that she kept her head when his hand brushed her arm. But now.... She wished she'd never over heard Neal talking to Cleon. 

"I don't want to leave her." 

"Well, neither did I, but you'll still see her and your other friends at Midwinter and stuff." Cleon had offered. 

"You don't understand!" Neal had paused. "I.... I.... I think I love her." 

What should she do? Confront him? Apologize for easdropping? Just wing it? Or pretend she'd never heard? 

_You say I'm more than just a friend.___

_They say I must be blind.___

_Well, I admit that I've seen you watch me from the cornor of your eye._

Kit confessed her turmoil to Lasala, who told her that she should talk to Neal. 

"You've had affections for him as long as I've been here. He's always been downright fond of you. Have you not noticed? Or have you ignored it?" said her maid and close friend, practical as always.__

_It's so confusing. I wish you'd just confess.___

_But think of what I'd be losing if your answer wasn't yes?_

She wouldn't. She couldn't. If she told Neal and he wasn't interested, what kind of predictiment would she be in? 

_It's so complicated... I'm so frustrated___

_I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,___

_I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.___

_Should I say it?___

_Should I tell you how I feel?___

_Oh, I want you to know,___

_But then again, I don't. It's so complicated._

How many times ahd these thoughts ran through her head? 

In that last five minutes? 

She would find Neal. It wasn't worth this tourture! 

But five seconds later she changed her mind again. 

I hate it. Cause I've waited so long for someone like you... 

Neal was perfect for her, and she for him. The gods must ahve made them for each other, how could it be otherwise? 

Easily, Kel told herself, sighing. 

_Oh, What do I do?_

Neal was sitting in his room with the door open when she approached it. She lingered right outside the doorway. He was engroosed in a book and hadn't noticed her yet. 

Then he looked up. 

"Hey, Kel, what's up?" he asked her, propping himself up on his elbows. 

_Should I say it?___

_Should I tell you how I feel?___

_Oh, I want you to know,___

_But then again, I don't. It's so complicated.___

_She entered the room.___

_It's so complicated._

"Not much." she stated. Then sighed. She'd not said it again. Should she try? 

_It's so complicated._


End file.
